By Andrew J. Hewitt, PMHNP-BC
Caliper Wellness, Pasco County, Florida
Grief Is the Price of Love
When we lose someone—or something—we deeply love, it can feel like the world stops. The things that once made sense suddenly don’t. The plans we made, the routines we built, even our sense of who we are can feel shattered.
That pain is called grief. And while it’s one of the hardest experiences we face, it’s also one of the most human. Grief is not a sign of weakness or failure—it’s a reflection of love.
As a psychiatric nurse practitioner, I meet people every day who ask, “Is what I’m feeling normal?” or “Shouldn’t I be over this by now?”
The truth is, there’s no right timeline for grief. But understanding what’s happening in your mind and body can make it easier to walk the path toward healing.
What Grief Really Is
Grief is your body and mind’s way of adapting to loss. It’s not only about death—people grieve after divorce, illness, trauma, lost dreams, or even big life changes.
It can affect how you feel, think, and behave. Some common experiences include:
- Feeling numb, sad, angry, or guilty
- Trouble sleeping or eating
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling disconnected from others
- Physical exhaustion
- Feeling like “life is happening without me”
Grief can come in waves; some days you might feel okay, and others it hits you out of nowhere. This doesn’t mean you’re regressing; it means you’re human.
There’s No One Way to Grieve
You might cry every day. You might not cry at all. You might stay busy to cope, or you might feel paralyzed. Every person’s grief looks different.
Research from the Journal of Affective Disorders (2023) shows that people move through different grief patterns or “trajectories.” Some recover gradually, others take longer, and some may struggle for years before feeling whole again.
Grief is not linear; it’s a spiral. You’ll revisit certain feelings many times as you heal, each time with new understanding.
When Grief Becomes “Stuck”
For most people, grief softens with time. The pain never fully disappears, but it becomes part of your story in a gentler way.
But for about 1 in 10 people, grief can become “prolonged,” intense, and persistent, lasting over a year and interfering with daily life.
The DSM-5 now calls this Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD).
Signs of PGD include:
- Constant longing or yearning for the person who died
- Feeling like life has lost its meaning
- Avoiding reminders of the loss
- Intense emotional pain that doesn’t lessen
- Inability to imagine a future without the loved one
This doesn’t mean you’ve failed to grieve “correctly.” It means your brain and body are struggling to adapt—and there is help.
How Grief Affects the Body and Mind
Modern research confirms what many of us feel instinctively: grief affects your entire body.
The Brain
Brain imaging shows that grief activates the same regions as physical pain. Long-term grief can change brain circuits that regulate emotion, reward, and memory. That’s why you may feel foggy, unmotivated, or stuck replaying memories.
The Body
Prolonged stress from grief can raise blood pressure, affect sleep, and increase inflammation. Studies (Frontiers in Public Health, 2025) even show that severe grief is linked to a higher risk of heart problems, immune issues, and fatigue.
The Soul
Grief can shake your identity and sense of meaning. You might ask, “Who am I without them?” or “What’s the point anymore?” These are normal parts of grief—not signs of weakness.
How to Heal After Loss
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means finding a way to live with love and loss side by side.
Here are some evidence-based and compassionate ways to begin healing:
1. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Trying to “stay strong” by pushing feelings away can prolong pain.
Grief demands to be felt. Cry if you need to. Journal. Talk. Sit quietly. Feel your emotions without judgment.
Your body already knows what to do, it’s trying to process pain into peace.
2. Connect with Others
Isolation deepens suffering. Even though grief feels personal, connection helps regulate your nervous system and reduce anxiety.
Join a support group, talk to trusted friends, or meet with a therapist trained in grief counseling. Research from Psychotherapy Research (2024) shows that grief-specific therapy (especially cognitive-behavioral therapy, or CBT) helps people find meaning and relief faster than general talk therapy.
3. Take Care of Your Body
Grief is physically exhausting. Eat nourishing foods, move your body gently, and rest often.
Walking outdoors, stretching, or yoga can calm your stress response and release tension stored in your body.
Even small acts of self-care, hydration, sunlight, and a warm meal, are forms of healing.
4. Find Meaning in the Loss
Psychologists call this meaning-making, the process of integrating loss into your life story.
This might mean:
- Volunteering in honor of your loved one
- Writing or creating art
- Continuing a tradition they loved
- Talking about them openly instead of avoiding their name
Research shows that meaning-making helps the brain and heart move from “pain” to “purpose.”
5. Allow Grief and Growth to Coexist
Healing isn’t about moving on; it’s about moving forward.
You can miss someone and still laugh again.
You can ache for what was and still hope for what’s next.
You can love deeply and still live fully.
This dual process, balancing loss and life, is at the heart of healthy grieving.
When to Seek Help
It may be time to reach out for professional support if:
- You feel stuck or hopeless more than a year after a loss
- You can’t stop replaying the death or loss
- You’ve withdrawn from people and daily life
- You have thoughts of wanting to die or join the deceased
- You feel numb, empty, or “outside yourself” most of the time
At Caliper Wellness, we help clients navigate grief using trauma-informed, evidence-based care. We work gently, combining therapy, mindfulness, and—when appropriate—medication to help regulate mood and sleep.
You don’t have to carry this pain alone.
You’re Not Broken, You’re Human
If grief has left you feeling lost, please know this: you’re not “doing it wrong.”
You’re doing what every human heart does when it’s been changed by love and loss.
Healing doesn’t erase the person you miss, it weaves their memory into the fabric of your life in a new way.
Over time, grief shifts from something that overwhelms you to something that lives quietly beside you.
The Caliper Wellness Approach to Grief
At Caliper Wellness, we see grief as a sacred part of the healing journey. Our approach includes:
- Therapy tailored to your experience (CBT, mindfulness, narrative therapy)
- Medication management for depression, anxiety, or sleep disturbances when needed
- Holistic support including nutrition, self-care, and stress reduction
- Gentle integration of mind, body, and spirit
You don’t have to rush your healing. You only have to begin.
Final Thought
Grief is the echo of love.
And while the pain may fade with time, love doesn’t.
You can honor your loss and still rebuild your life, one breath, one day, one memory at a time.
If you or someone you love is struggling with grief, reach out. Help is here. 💛
Resources
- American Psychiatric Association (2023): Understanding Prolonged Grief Disorder
- Frontiers in Public Health (2025): Long-term health effects of grief
- Psychotherapy Research (2024): The effectiveness of grief-specific CBT
- Cambridge Global Mental Health (2024): Bereavement and cultural perspectives on grief